Senior Reflection: Be patient, you’ll find your group

Submitted Maria Tand

Maria Tand, Photo Editor

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Looking back to my freshman self I see someone who was content in the life she was living.  School was fine, home life was fine, everything was just simply fine. There was one thing, however, that I was lacking from the start of freshman year: I didn’t really have any close friends at school.

Now, it’s not like I was a complete loner, I talked to a lot of people, it’s just I never found anyone I felt that I could hang out with.  There was a small sense of panic in me when freshman year was chugging along and the acquaintances that I did have in middle school were mingling and mixing with people from Southboro, bonds were being created right in front of my eyes, but none that I felt I could be a part of. Classes, lunches, and   activities were spent trying to find friends in the mix of new friend groups that were built by the second.

Time went on and “friends” came and went but I never found a solid group of people who I regularly could hang out with, people that were easy to talk to, people that just got me. On Friday nights I stayed at home or went out with my family while others were making memories with their friends. This never really bothered me until my mom started noticing my lack of solid friendships. My older brother and sister had always had friends around them, but I didn’t. My family would ask me about my “friends,” but the truth was that I was only friends with them because I had a class or two with them. We never hung out outside of school, and I did not have a meaningful relationship with them.

When junior year rolled around I had accepted the idea that I was just never going to have my own group of friends. I had never been one to care what other people thought of me and this was no different. I stopped putting so much energy into trying to make great connections and stopped stressing about being part of a group. However, as the year progressed and I began talking to more people, I started making the real connections that had eluded me in the years before. I found people who shared interests the same as me, and that happened once the unrealistic expectation that I had of friendships disintegrated. You may think that you need to be friends with certain people or do certain things, but I found that once you let go of that perception your friendships will be more authentic than before.  

What I’m essentially trying to get at is that if you don’t have a lot of close friends or any at all, don’t fret. As someone who has tried to insert herself in various groups, hoping to find lifelong friends, I have realized that true friends are the ones that come to you. In the most unexpected moments through classes and different activities, you will realize, just like I did, the types of people that are meant for you.

At the end of senior year, I can confidently say that I have an array of close friends whose friendships I know are genuine. Now I ask all you underclassmen to do one thing and be patient, don’t think that you have to stay within one friend group just because it is all that you know, don’t think that just because it’s junior year and your friendships are scarce that you’ll be alone forever, because with time comes change and that change is worth it. When you find people who truly want to be friends with your life will be so much sweeter. True friends will come to you and they will stay.

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