When I grew up I had the sudden realization that I was not alone in this world. I had a brother that looked similar to me, and we were forced to share everything with each other. It wasn’t just my room, toys, and clothes, it was our room, our toys and our clothes. You name it, we shared it.

Don’t get me wrong, being a twin does have its perks, but I feel as if there are challenges on every level. Like other twins out there, I have issues with the baggage that comes with it: comparison and competition.

I’m not talking about the little things like sharing a room or frustrating each other into oblivion. I’m talking about being compared to each other just because you are the same age, look similar, and are going through the same stages of life together.

All throughout my life, my brother and I have been compared in almost everything under the sun in order to differentiate one from the other: school, sports, popularity, personality, strength and interests are just the beginning of the many factors people think about.

In elementary and middle school, when my brother and I gravitated towards similar activities, it was always a competition. I could never just take a test or play sports without constantly feeling that there was always winner or loser. It’s not a great confidence booster when you always have the feeling of being in an ongoing race to greatness.

I do agree that competing against one another pushes us or any other pair of twins to do better, but one’s confidence level is always either catapulted up or brought crashing down. In some cases as a twin it feels like you are competing against a better version of yourself. This made us both draw ourselves away from taking on similar interests.

When you and your twin are at the same stage in your different lives, people have the chance to examine the differences you have. Parents, peers, and teachers all fall victim to this.
Why can’t you be more like your brother? Why can’t your brother be more like you? This is a skull-crushing question when it comes to being a twin.

I’ve noticed questions can come from anywhere and be about anything, and a lot of them have to do with who’s better. Who’s taller? Who’s older? Who’s smarter? Who’s the better athlete? These are small questions compared to the worst one of all: who is the better twin?

I’m sorry, but I’m not going to tell you that I’m better or worse than my brother. There is no possible way of doing that. We are two different people and like everyone else out there, we want our own identities.

A standard is held if one or the other is good at something or acts a certain way. It doesn’t matter if people realize it or not, being on the front line and seeing the treatment first hand, I can say that this is sibling rivalry at it’s finest.

People need to remember that twins are two separate human beings who happened to be womb mates.

Being a fraternal twin does have it’s perks when it comes to being your own person. There are rarely any times when someone calls out my brother’s name when trying to get my attention. This makes me wonder how identical twins deal with being compared when they are physical carbon copies of each other. Just because they look identical or similar doesn’t mean they are the same person.

In the end, I ask that people not look at twins as being better or worse than each other, but as individuals figuring out life, not wanting to be judged by how their closely related sibling is figuring things out for themselves.