Alright, so you’ve seen his tower along New York City’s skyline. You may have even discussed his astounding willingness to date Ivanka- that is, if she wasn’t his own daughter.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, I am talking about the leading Republican candidate of the 2016 presidential campaign. Our very own floppy-haired, finger-waving, all-American Donald Trump.

Trump has contributed some sincerely serious policy ideas; here they are:

1. Immigration: We shall construct a wall. One so impressionable it will equate to the Great Wall of China or perhaps the infamous Berlin Wall. Its purpose is to isolate our pure and crimeless Americans from the rapists, criminals, and drug lords of our good southern neighbor. It’s not as if America’s crime rate is almost equal to Mexico’s nor could it be that the U.S. actually sees more sexual assaults per year than Mexico. Let’s not consider the statistics; let’s build a wall, kind of like the Communists did. Oh, and they’ll pay for it.

2. Economy: This one is just black and white: everyone should be like Donald. Just salvage up our billions of dollars like all true, hard-working Americans should be able to manage, right? I mean, everyone can live the American Dream of rags to riches. Oh, and don’t be afraid to go bankrupt, because Donald has already been there on several accounts and he’s still faring quite well. His employees? Well, that’s another story. At least they won’t have to pay taxes. Because the federal government doesn’t need funding, it’s not as if they’re $19 trillion in debt.

3. Civil Rights: Let’s just say that when it comes to being politically correct, Donald doesn’t need to worry. He can say whatever he pleases, and guess what? He’ll make the news and his poll numbers will magically increase. Not to mention that some of Trump’s most devout followers include Neo-Nazis and the leader of the Ku Klux Klan. So essentially, white supremacy would be at an all time high once our beloved candidate is voted into office. As for same-sex marriage, it just isn’t his “thing.” And women? You can consult Megyn Kelley on that one.

4. Military: We obviously need to invest even more capital into our military. It’s not as if it’s the best in the world already, and by building up our armed forces everyone would “stop messing with us.” To balance the budget, let’s drain funding from unimportant things like education- because who really needs a college degree in this country? We also should really support our veterans- just no one like John McCain. You have to be a true war hero in order to convince Donald that you risked your life defending your country.

5. Foreign Policy: This will be solved with his replacement of “the bunch of losers” who administer our global relations at the moment. He’d also form a better relationship with Russia’s Vladimir Putin since Trump’s opinion of him “was based on a feel.” Also, Donald has devised a great plan to dissolve ISIS quickly and effectively. What does it entail? Well, that part we’re not too sure of since he hasn’t actually divulged said plan because “he doesn’t want the enemy to know what [he’s] doing.”

With these policy ideas, who wouldn’t want The Donald as our next president? So here’s to hoping that our Donald makes it to the big house on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

In the meantime, we better prepare for Kanye West.