I will never forgive Hollywood for tricking my younger self into believing high school was going to be the time of my life. I mean, granted, I knew that people wouldn’t randomly break into song in the middle of the hallways or anything, but I definitely expected less homework considering I never saw the main characters of “Gossip Girl” or “High School Musical” study, yet they always seemed to get into Harvard. 

And even though I never got to read the letter I wrote to my future self from fifth grade because I moved, I distinctly remember hoping that by the time I graduated high school I was valedictorian (I could never do what you do Bharathan so go off), have a boyfriend (I literally can’t even check off the first question of the Rice Purity test) and have my Taylor Swift moment at prom (we didn’t even have a prom). 

In reality, I spent hours studying, sometimes even taping my study guide to my shower door, not wanting a minute to go to waste. There were a number of times I sacrificed hanging out with my friends or missed going to a game to finish up my homework. Even when I managed to cram in the time to hang out, I felt guilty that I wasn’t using my time to be productive. 

And for every sacrifice I made I would mentally curse out Hollywood wondering where my movie moments were. But they are called movie moments for a reason. Their reality is one where every word, every action is brainstormed and scripted so that each conversation is seamless and each movement is flawless. 

I, on the other hand, definitely had moments of awkwardness when making conversations, especially when I would tell a joke that would fall flat and would then proceed to painfully sit there in silence. Those were the moments where I would question my existence and replay the conversation, while going down a rabbithole of insecurity wondering why these people even liked me. But one of the most important things I learned was to stop worrying about whether or not everyone liked you because, let’s face it, you don’t even like everyone. 

I guess when I take a step back and reflect on my time at Algonquin, I realize I was always chasing these Hollywood expectations, but life doesn’t flow as smoothly. Sometimes you are going to have a pop quiz that you obviously didn’t study for, or forget you have a French presentation that day. But you are also going to have moments of spontaneity where you decide to go to a warehouse sale in Boston and then Uber to your track meet after, or when you decide to drive around and turn right or left based on Siri’s suggestions. And while sometimes these unpredictable situations can be stressful, they are some of the most memorable. After four year, it took me long enough to realize that maybe best part of life isn’t the moments you planned out, maybe the best part of life is the spontaneity of it.