If you’re anything like us, this election season has left you exhausted, overwhelmed, shocked, in tears, and contemplating whether or not your job as a Wegmans cashier has earned you enough money to immigrate to Canada.

Unfortunately, it is too late to end America’s political apocalypse at this point. But don’t renew your passport just yet, because there’s still one thing we can do to make light of this situation: Eat our feelings.

So sit back, turn on your news propaganda channel of choice, try not to get into too many social media debates, and enjoy these tremendously tasty party snacks.

Crooked Clinton’s two-faced pizza

This recipe has two sides in one server. Did we say server? We meant serving.

Ingredients:
16 oz store-bought pizza dough
Public Side: Hopefullly
Uncontroversial
1 cup mozzarella cheese (grated)
½ cup tomato sauce
Private Side: An Acquired Taste
1 cup mozzarella (grated)
½ cup tomato sauce
½ cup crumbled blue cheese
½ sour granny smith apple (sliced)
½ acidic red onion (sliced into thin strips)
½ tablespoon brown sugar
½ tablespoon vegetable oil

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 425ºF.
2. Knead dough, and then press it into a circle about 12 inches in diameter.
3. Spread tomato sauce over entire pizza, and top with all of the mozzarella cheese.
4. On one half of pizza, sprinkle crumbled blue cheese. Top with sour apple in a crooked pattern.
5. Place a large skillet on high heat. Pour in oil.
6. When oil simmers, add onion and brown sugar.
7. Let onions caramelize, stirring occasionally, for about ten minutes.
8. When onions are caramelized, take off heat and place on pizza.
9. Bake pizza until brown around the crust, about 20 minutes. Let cool and enjoy.

Campaign trail mix

Salty, nutty, and inexplicably irresistible

Ingredients:
1 cup skittles
1 cup assorted nuts

Basket of deplor-eo balls

Red, white, blue, and sugar-coated

Ingredients:
2 packages Oreos, finely crushed
8 oz cream cheese, softened
16 oz white chocolate
red and blue food coloring
sugar, for topping

Directions:
1. In a large bowl, mix cream cheese and cookie crumbs until well blended.
2. Wrap mixture in cellophane and place in freezer for 15 minutes.
3. Divide white chocolate into thirds. Put into three separate bowls. Melt.
4. Add as many drops red food coloring as necessary to produce a bright color to one bowl of chocolate. Do the same with blue food coloring to another.
5. Remove mixture from freezer and press into 1-inch balls.
6. Dip balls in chocolate and place on a wax-papered pan. Top with a sprinkle of sugar.
7. Refrigerate until firm (at least 1 hour.)
8. Place in a basket, and don’t let the name fool you. This might be grossly generalistic, but these will definitely be amazing because Oreo balls are always amazing.

Trump’s locker room talk-o bowl

Because we love the Hispanics.

Ingredients:
12 6-inch corn tortillas
12 oz pre-cooked chicken (diced)
1½ cup black beans
¾ cup New York cheddar cheese
1 bell pepper (diced)
½ onion (diced)
1 tablespoons olive oil
2 jalapeños (sliced)
2 tablespoons Russian dressing

Directions:
1. Preheat the oven to 400ºF. Oil a muffin pan.
2. Place each tortilla into the pan. The tortilla should serve as a wall. Remember, nobody builds walls better than you.
3. Inside of each tortilla wall, place about 1 oz chicken. White meat only.
4. Okay, “what the hell do you have to lose?” Add some black beans.
6. Time for the cheese. Make it grated again. Sprinkle half of your total cheese over the taco bowls.
7. Place taco bowls in oven and bake until shell has hardened (10-15 minutes).
Place a large skillet on high heat. Pour in oil.
8. When oil simmers, add pepper and onion. Sauté until tender, about five minutes.
9. Remove taco bowls from oven. Place onion and pepper mix into bowls.
10. Add a few thin slices of jalapeño to each bowl. Now, on a scale of 1-10, how hot do you think they are?
11. Drizzle on just a bit of Russian dressing. No explanation needed.
12. Serve the mini taco bowls as appetizers. People will love them so much they’ll grab them by the…