Darn teenagers, get off my porch!
It can be hard to let go of Trick-or-Treating, but there comes a time when everyone has to grow up
October 31, 2014
“Trick-or-treat!” a loud voice bellows. I look up in confusion at a boy with a full beard in a sports jersey and jeans.
Darn it. Not again.
More than once on Halloween, I’ve opened the front door with candy bowl in hand to see someone my age, or older, standing in front of me. When I’m expecting a cute little kid in a lion costume or a Buzz Lightyear suit, and I see a high school student in an old flannel and a cowboy hat, it’s not surprising that I’m not pleased.
When I see high school students trick-or-treating, it drives me nuts. I haven’t gone trick-or-treating since I was 13, because even back then, I thought I was too old. I understand the difficulty of letting go of something you love, but there comes a time when everyone just grows up.
I’ll let the freshmen get away with it since most of them are only 14 when Halloween rolls around. But, with that said, trick-or-treating as a freshman in high school should be your last year. After that, it’s like stealing candy from children. If you are old enough, or almost old enough, to drive to the store to pick up a bag of candy for $2.99, you are too old to be begging for candy from strangers.
Don’t even consider coming to my house trick-or-treating if you’re not wearing a costume. It’s bad enough you’re trick-or-treating as a high school student, but it’s especially infuriating if you can’t even have the decency to make an attempt at a costume. I will close the door in your face. Well, no, I won’t, but I will give you ONE piece of candy with the ugliest glare I can muster.
Giving up a tradition like trick-or-treating is hard. I understand that. But, like many things we have to give up as teenagers, sometimes it just has to happen. There are so many fun ways to experience Halloween without trick-or-treating: throwing a party, watching scary movies, carving a pumpkin, hiding in the bushes and scaring the trick-or-treaters at your house (as long as you don’t traumatize the little ones), or handing out candy for the first time.
Seeing the little faces light up as I drop a chocolate bar in their bag is so adorable and rewarding: their excitement easily becomes my excitement. Even though I’m not the one on the other side of the door with pillowcase in hand, I feel the joy of trick-or-treating without doing it myself.
If your heart is truly set on trick-or-treating this Halloween, then do what you want. Just remember: as soon as the door closes after you’ve gotten your candy, the person on the other side is most likely rolling their eyes.
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Mitch Maslanka • Nov 12, 2014 at 6:44 am
WHO CARES if I come waltzing onto your front stoop on Halloween night? It’s the one night of the year that I’m allowed to go to someone’s door dressed up as a Lumber-jack with an ax in my hand. If I did that any other night, I would undoubtedly be arrested. It’s not every day that cranky old women will give me candy for going up to them and saying “Trick or Treat”. If little kids can do it, why can’t I?
Teenagers have the right to trick or treat if they want. There are no rules stopping them, so let them express their freedom. If a teenager came to my house, I would say, “Wow, I applaud you for keeping the tradition alive.” However, I do agree with one thing. Wear a costume. You need to earn that piece of candy.
The amount of time that trick or treating takes place is only within a few hours. So by the time it’s over, the night is still young. We still have time to go to a party, watch a scary movie or carve a pumpkin. Teenagers should still be enjoying their youth instead of being cooped up inside their house. You’re too young to be handing out candy.
If your heart is truly set on handing out treats on Halloween, then do what you want. Just remember: as soon as you close the door, the person on the other side is most likely rolling their eyes.
Eileen Moynihan • Nov 25, 2014 at 3:05 pm
Thank you for your comment, Mitch! I always appreciate feedback from my readers.